After my first baby I was an easy going mum with the patience of a saint. My daughter could do no wrong and my answer to everything was "it's nothing soap and water wouldn't fix".
When she was 2 1/2 years old, my second bundle of joy arrived. At first things were fine, it was great having the two little ones and each day it was magical to see their love grow for each other.
Around the 6 month mark, the wheels started falling off. My temper went from non-existent to a flash bang grenade! I was SO ANGRY and I couldn't figure out what the hell was causing it. My eldest was the little darling she always was, a sensitive little thing that was always ready to be mummy's little helper and making her sister smile at every opportunity.
It got to the stage where I would having screaming fits for the most stupid reasons. A snapped pencil, a toilet accident during potty training or even walking slightly slower than me would have me in a rage. Thank the Lord I never hit her. But she was starting to cringe at me when she thought she had made an error. That was when I realised there was something wrong with me. The light of my life was fearful of me. That was the worse thing I could ever imagine.
After seeing my Gp she immediately told me that I was suffering from postnatal depression... I felt like an ogre... I wasn't the one who had been SUFFERING during my rampages.
I went to counselling and was prescribed seritonin tablets. I was told that it was all very well and good being there for my family.... But I NEEDED to be there for me too. I had to make time for myself, so something that helped me unwind and get back to seeing all the great things a had in my life.
I turned back to my crocheting and knitting. I found I had pushed these hobbies aside when I had the kids and forgot how therapeutic they were. Slowly I've been recovering and I've taught my eldest to do some dinner knitting. We're actually binding through our love of making things.
My crafts brought me back to my daughter and is building a strong bond between us again.
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